32: Kangaroo Pocket

“If I do everything that I should, when do I do nothing at all?”

Music has always played an integral role in my life, as I’m sure it has in many of yours.

I’m a musician, have been in various bands, and I consider myself somewhat of a songwriter (even though I find myself inspired and active in that pursuit far less frequently now than in years past).

I listen to a lot of music as well, from a diverse array of genres and time periods. Occasionally a particular track, sometimes even one I’ve already heard dozens of times before, will catch my ear and inspire me in some way.

I want to attempt to share that with you, my audience, despite knowing that my taste will not align perfectly with many of yours and that the inspiration I derive from listening to a song is uniquely my own.

It’s my hope that in sharing my inspiration, I can help you further relate to who I am as a writer, and perhaps establish a stronger connection between us as you read.

Anywho, strap in for a little rant in which I attempt to excuse my lack of fortitude this week and relieve a little stress in the process:

Those dozen or so you who follow this blog regularly (thank you) may have noticed that this has been a shotty week for me. I skipped my Monday post, and just yesterday failed to write yet again.

If you read “Happy Happy Joy Joy” on Tuesday, you know that I’ve been making a conscious effort to spend more time around others, be that coworkers, friends or family, and that effort took precedent over my blog on both of those days.

In an ideal world, I would be able to devise a way to do both, but the plans I make to be social are often very spontaneous, which can make it hard to plan to build writing into my day ahead of time.

“Kangaroo Pocket” is not a new song to me. It’s on my favorite playlist and I rock out to it quite frequently while commuting or cleaning my room or what have you.

It’s a simple tune, lyrically, that speaks to a resentment I have for the way my life has to work right now.

There are, for better or worse, only 24 hours in a day.

I try to sleep for 7 of those, though, which means my typical day is only 18 hours long.

I also work full-time about an hour from my home, so if you factor in my commute, work takes up an additional 10 hours. So non-working waking hours chalk up to about 8.

I have to eat to live, and if I’m being generous I spend probably half an hour either seeking out or cooking and then subsequently eating each of my three daily meals. So non-working or eating waking hours total only 6.5.

Working out and stretching are necessary to subdue my chronic sciatic pain, and that can take another hour and a half. 5 hours left.

Dealing with hygiene (showering, shaving, brushing my teeth a few times a day, etc.)? Typically an hour total.

And generally, crafting one of these blogs takes an hour.

So, by my calculation, the typical weekday, despite being 24 hours long, provides me with only 3 real hours of non-scheduled time.

That’s the window in which I allow myself to see friends, spend time with family, practice guitar, do art, read a book, play video games, hunt for jobs, answer emails, talk to my girlfriend on the phone, have an anxiety attack, run errands…

3 hours a day.

It’s maddening how short a day seems to become when I try to do everything that I should.

So the question posed in “Kangaroo Pocket” – “when do I do nothing at all?” – really profoundly resonates with me.

Because sometimes that’s all I want to do.

5 Replies to “32: Kangaroo Pocket”

  1. I love this post because I think it’s relatable to nearly every human on the planet (well at least on some days if not all), and I think for me the struggle comes when deciding which things I need to do versus which things I want to do. Sometimes I can convince myself that the things I need to do for personal health (cooking a healthy meal, going on a run, taking a walk during lunch) are more important to do during my “free” time than the things I need to do for grad school or socialization. But other days those just seem like things that I want to do, and the real need is in my school work or taking time with a friend I haven’t seen in a while. Sometimes I even feel my real needs are just taking time to myself to unwind or write or whatever. So I think that each day I have a hard time prioritizing what are the things I need to do as a human that day to be happy and healthy, and which things can I afford to do just because I want to do them, or even do nothing at all.

    I also liked this post because it’s entirely (though not exclusively) about occupations. And you know how I can geek out about that.

    Anyways, thanks for the morning inspiration <3

    1. Wow you’re welcome. Thanks for the comment! (:

      Your struggle is very familiar to me. Most days I end up going over my allotted 3 hours because maybe spending the night hanging with friends seems important that day.

      The problem is, I almost always feel stressed the next day that I skipped my workout or my blog in lieu of that social time. And I want to move past that stress and towards acceptance that every day cannot possibly contain the amount of time I need to do all of these things I’ve deemed “necessary.”

      Otherwise I’d have to relegate all leisure that exceeds 3 hours to the weekend. Which seems dumb.

  2. I get that same kind of stress, so lately I’ve been trying to turn it more into a motivator to get more done the next day instead of a detriment to my mood in reflecting on if I’ve used my time wisely. Because you really can’t change the way you’ve used your time once it’s gone. Maybe we need to regulate ourselves less and just go with the flow more 🙂

  3. Even at my age…. oh my! I do know someone who gets a lot done. He keeps a list of things he wants to do. Reviews it morning and night. Wish i were disciplined enough to do that. i forget to look at the list.

I'd love your feedback. Srsly.